Another win for the haters

I'm not neurotic. Okay, maybe a little bit. But I've just been a bit jittery of late.

If you'll allow me just a little self-reflection, a few months ago I deleted every tag I had on this blog that related to individuals. I didn't want to appear that I was offering comment and judgment on individual people, because that has never been the vibe of this blog, and it would be unfair to perpetuate that view of individual criticism. Every negative issue I've ever had with blogging, and just about every time Sarah has suggested that I should perhaps give it away, has come when non-regular readers to this blog have stumbled upon something I've said, drawn conclusions (usually that I'm a negative and hypercritcal person), and thus left with a negative opinion of me.

Christian circles are ridiculously incestuous, and once a reputation has started to grow, it can be extremely hazardous for fellowship.

So last night I deleted almost all of my tags. Now for most of you, this won't make a scrap of difference, but just know I've been spooked. Tags are usually navigated by visitors. Click on a tag that you have a particularly strong opinion on, see where I stand, and make your judgment. Yet this approach has absolutely no understanding of the regular tone of my reflections. I've become so concerned with people taking things I've said out of the regular context of this blog, that I've now forced them (by removing the tags) to read my posts within a broader context.

I began and continue to blog as a means of self-reflection. That's why I called my blog Izaac thinks aloud. I was an activist type of guy who never paused for a moment to reflect on what I was doing and learning and if I should be doing things differently. Having had this deficiency brought to my attention by my co-workers, I decided to build reflection into my schedule. Any comment I make on individuals or organisations is almost always reflective of some deficiency, some way of thinking that is unnatural to me, and what comes out on the blog represents my attempt at analysing the events of my life in order to be a better servant of Jesus.

Don't take this as me backing away from anything I've said (though to be sure there's things I would say and do differently, and probably things I've changed my mind on). Also, I don't plan on changing too much about the way I do things here as it is after all my blog.

There's something a bit sad about it, but I've been frightened of the way my words can be used against me to present a caricature of who I am. This is a win for the haters.