It's good to have a soft response when you receive a rebuke. I like to think I've improved in this area as I've matured and hard defensiveness is no longer my default position. So anyway, handball at Moore College is another step closer to being banned after complaints from college resident(s) that we were making too much noise. Personally, I also think we are too loud at times (though it's not PC to mention the third year ping pong players or the second year cricketers), so the rebuke/guilt announcement was mostly appreciated.
But I got me to thinking, what does it take to make someone complain? I'm just not a complainer so I don't understand the psychological impetus which causes someone to actually make that step of firing off an email, or picking up the phone to vent their spleen. Is there a genetic predisposition to bemoaning? Because I'm just not the type to ring the landlord because the tap is dripping, or ask someone to stop talking too loud in the library.
Now while it's good to react softly to genuine complaints, on peripheral matters I generally take criticism with a grain of salt. This is because for every person that thinks the music was too soft, there's another person who appreciates the volume. The theory of ignoring most complaints was solidified for me at a camp I directed where I received three complaints that the mattresses were too soft, and another three complaints that the mattresses were too hard. From what I could ascertain, the mattresses were identical.
What the—?! It's the inner city! What next, a petition to ban the traffic from King St? Tell the sooky la-las to buy themselves ear plugs.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that Leunig cartoon: A man wheeling a pram with a baby in it is confronted in a park by another man who points to a sign which says "No wheeling baby nephews in the park."
The only thing I'll complain about is something I've researched and paid money for on a company's assurance where the product doesn't meet expectations - at that point you're doing the company a service because if nobody complains the problem goes unsolved and the company fails. And I like writing complaint letters.
ReplyDelete@Gordo, I hear you, bro. But now that wouldn't exactly be a soft response, would it. Though I must admit, in private conversations I may have already alluded to the 'King Street' argument. I happen to live under the flight path for Sydney airport, so perhaps I've just learned to suck it up when it comes to noise outside the house. I've been known to put on headphones without any music coming through.
ReplyDelete@Nathan. True. I don't like to be walked over or put up with dodgy workmanship. The complaint letter is an art (which I think I remember you posting about before). They also get funnier, the more ridiculous the complaint. I'm not sure where on the ridiculous spectrum I'd place 'excessive noise from handball players in the early to mid afternoon'.
ReplyDeleteThough again I need to point out that there was some merit in the complaint. Oftentimes we are too loud. It's just you'd expect the complaints might come if we were disturbing lectures. But it's from students who live on campus. I mean, earlier in the year we were told once to keep it down at 2:00PM because one of the girls in the women's quarters was 'trying to sleep'. Another request to keep it down occurred at 12:50PM (after lunch and before the 1PM lecture) because there were 'children sleeping' in the nearby houses.
I don't complain much, but when I was living at mtc with little ones, I'd have done anything to stop them from being woken up in the early afternoon. I remember sitting on the floor sobbing after someone banged on my door. I was pregnant with #2, desperately tired and that one bang meant 6 long hours with a very unhappy one year old. If it had been a day after day thing, it would have been very difficult to take.
ReplyDeleteJust giving the other side of the story.
Thanks Simone. I think I've realised in this incident that I usually have a hard response to these things, which would mean in this case I would say, 'Suck it up it's daylight we can do what we want and stop being so precious'. And so it's helpful to state the obvious: that there are people behind the complaints. No doubt occasionally a bad day behind them as well (or weeks or months). I could speculate that the female in Carillion might have chronic fatigue which is why she's having an arvo nap.
ReplyDeleteAs I have said all along, I think we make too much noise sometimes as well. People are welcome to make complaints, and welcome to feel we make too much noise, they're also welcome to tell us to stop. The handballers reaction to the latest complaint has been the right one: to keep the noise down and not play in the afternoon until the end of semester as I think this time the reason was because handballers are disturbing study.
Incidentally, I am usually not the person playing handball in the afternoon, because I'm too studying in a room equidistant to the Little Queen residents and I too can hear the handball going on (and the 2nd yr cricketers) and they can be loud. In one sense I don't care if they can't play handball in the arvo because I'm more a 15 minutes after lunch rather than an all-afternoon epic kind of guy.
I know that I'm just not that guy who would complain. It's like when people complain about the quality of college housing. I just say, how good is it we own so many blankets, or else I'd be freezing my butt off in this uninsulated house. I've heard college people whinging about housing for years, and I think it unthankful and proud and reeks of arrogance and entitlement. My problem is having too much pride that I'm not one of those people.
But on the specifics of this complaint, I will lay down my right to play handball (I think it's in the American constitution). But in terms of my attitude to the whole thing, I just remember we live in the inner city. Planes fly overhead, uni students walk down Little Queen at all hours of the day, semi-trailers use their air brakes down King St. People on Campbell St have school bells and kids lunchbreaks making noise. People live near churches which have bells tolling during the day. The reso's have RPA down the road which means Ambulance sirens blaring at all hours. It's the middle of the day, it's probably no more than an hour or two noise over the day if you include all the years having their breaks. So my opinion is probably closer to Gordo, but my response I hope is soft and gracious. Which means I won't play, even if deep down I think people are being sooky la-las.
Which I'm satisfied with, as long as I keep remembering there are people behind the complaints.